My Hellish Week and Another One of Corey's Poems

No Bradford TKD for me tonight, a sad sad day. All my fault too, I didn't lift a finger this weekend to get work done ahead of time. I've gotta STOP SLACKING. So here's the rundown for the week (not because anyone really cares but because I need to get myself focused)

Today: finish postlab from last week, do [longass] prelab for this week, and write out outline for exam essay topic for the stugy group meeting.

Tue: class, lab, study group, then do ENTIRE math problem set (which I should've been doing over the weekend)

Wed: yoga,class, study for essay exam (hate those things), go to pre-interview meeting for internship (again, who do they think they are??) , work

Thu: 2 hr essay exam, 50 minute "Quiz", work, do ENTIRE engineering problem set (ditto about doing it over the weekend)

Fri: Internship interview,class,work,finish Engs problem set before 5PM.... COREY COMES TO VISIT!!!

So that's the rundown. I'm done bitching, moving on.

I'm contemplating taking the search for a winter internship more seriously. Although studying Buddhism in Thailand would be the fulfillment of a dream for me, getting work experience might be more crucial at this point in my life. Plus, if I get this CT internship I can continue with my TKD training and possibly test for black belt next winter camp. (Not that I'm making my life decisions based on tkd, but it's an added bonus.) Another reason I've put my Thailand dreams on hold is because I can apply for a technical internship in Thailand for next summer through this organization that places interns internationally. The program sounds pretty competitive but if I get work experience during my winter leave term then I'll be that much more likely to get placed somewhere (even if its not Thailand).

I better get going on this load of work, so instead of finishing my post with more content here's a poem Corey wrote in May:

Love the Greatest sorrow

Many say "It's better to have Loved Lost" I dare you to try it To love with all your heart And not have to hide it To Open yourself With no Bouncers or Gates To Give yourself And do all that it Takes To love like this And have it all go awry No matter how much you Try You want to pull your hair out break down and Die Then later Cry Thoughts all twisted inside I love you No I hate you Either way Good Bye To have the perfect Woman To have the perfect Man And have them leave you For reasons you still can't Understand You've planned your life around them Then your Future no longer matters on a whim What do you do now that you're not even on the Back Burner Years Of fighting to be first Let no Obstacle hold you aSunder No Parents No Distance No Race Kaboom It all Blows up in your Face So what do you do When your life gets up and runs out on you Hopes and Dreams Gone out the Blue The House with the white picket fence Harbors a black space Where once in a dream held a familiar face Everyday it gets Easier to cope Proud of yourself when you say "i won't call" and you don't Most fun when your family and friends Ask about them Slap in the face Start at Day one Again "It's better to have Loved and lost Then to have Never Loved at all" Easier said than done I dare you to go to that Cliff and Fall ****

This was written between May 10th, when we broke up, and June 7th when we got back together... I read it on his blog while we still weren't speaking and wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. In fact I think I did.